Aquel día ya me había habituado a mi silla de ruedas y claro está, a las limitaciones de mí tetraplejia. Como no tenía con quien charlar en el hospicio, por las mañanas solían dejarme media hora en la puerta de entrada al lugar, querían que me distrajera viendo vehículos…¡mis gordos!
Entonces dentro de la casa hogar había aprendido a empujar mi silla, como no muevo los dedos, debía empujar la rueda con la palma de mis manos, para evitar ensuciarme mucho, usaba guates de motorista, era algo difícil, y avanzaba despacio. Aquella mañana aburrido del panorama vehicular, me atreví a empujar la silla fuera de la casa, una vez afuera me envalentoné y la empujé sobre la banqueta hasta la esquina de la cuadra. El ver una calle diferente me emocionó, fue mi primer logro y se sentía tan bien, pero nadie debía saberlo, por lo que regresé lo más rápido que pude, a velocidad modo tortuga.
Aunque aquella experiencia me dejó con dolor de brazos, lo continúe haciendo en secreto, si me cachaban ya no me dejarían salir. Quizá una semana después visualicé la otra esquina que le seguía a donde había llegado, sería mi montaña a vencer. Entonces debía tener un cómplice por si no regresaba rápido. Una auxiliar de enfermería, mi entonces amiga con derechos, fue ideal para compartir mi “gran aventura”, al menos para mí. La idea era esperar el día que estuviera de turno para cubrirme las espaldas.
Llegado el momento, y mientras empujaba la silla más allá de lo que había estado haciendo, sentía mucha ansiedad, creo que no era porque me descubrieran, era la ansiedad de ver una calle nueva, con mis propias fuerzas. Algunos hoyos en la acera ponían más drama al asunto, pero al fin logré llegar, el último tramo debía bajar de la acera, pero afortunadamente era una pequeña grada, pues el lugar era una gasolinera en la esquina.
Me quedé como 5 minutos contemplando el panorama, aquella área de la ciudad no era muy transitada, eso lo tenía a favor. Era una calle con un poco de declive, y observé hacia arriba, y pensé que sí daba totalmente la vuelta sin regresar, sería la misma distancia si regresaba. ¡Y pos que me aviento!
Ir en una pequeña subida si me costó, la ansiedad era mayor pues nunca había estado tan solo en un lugar desconocido. Al llegar a la esquina casi no me detuve, hablamos de al menos 20 minutos en la calle, algo que comúnmente le toma un par de minutos a cualquiera…sin discapacidad. Mi fortuna fue que la acera, aunque con algunos tramos malos, en general estaba bien. Cuando llegué a la última esquina y vi hacia la casa, pude ver que mi chica estaba parada en la otra esquina.
Mientras avanzaba le grité su nombre, es que nunca aprendí a silbar jaja. Ella se volteó y corrió hacia mí, ahora sé que me plagió Rocky Balboa jaja. Pero no corrió pa abrazarme, sino a decirme que era un grandísimo pendejo. Que si me hubiese pasado algo, a ella la despedían, en fin, estuvo trompuda un rato.
Con el tiempo di la vuelta un poco más rápido, llegué a comprar un jugo en una tienda y a tomármelo solo en una calle semidesierta, fue hermoso no decir por favor por tan solo moverme un par de metros, respirar profundamente y sentir que todo lo podía hacer, aunque no fuese del todo verdad. La satisfacción de la autonomía es algo que pocos experimentan con altas discapacidades, es algo que debe incentivarse en los hogares con jóvenes con limitaciones de movilidad, claro quizá no como yo lo hice, pero si debe ayudarse a lograr cierta independencia.
Aquel logro no tuvo público ni cientos de “me gusta”, pero fue uno de los primeros escalones que me han tocado enfrentar, el que me enseñó que toda meta te lleva a otras, que no puedes conformarte con un poquito de café si existen los capuchinos o los expreso.
Los desafíos son muchos, los logros que importan no son los que todos aplauden, son aquellos que nutren tu alma, tu autoestima, pues venimos solos a este mundo y solos cruzaremos las metas más importantes, aquellas que nos llevamos en el corazón.
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